![RELATIONSHIPS…..….WHO’S GIVIN AND WHO’S TAKIN?]()
by egerstein | Oct, 2013 | Blog
That is what the world is made of …RELATIONSHIPS… Some are classified GOOD and some are classified BAD…Some are acquaintances…some are lovers..parents…friends….casual friends…good friends and as we move up the ladder…BEST friends. Some are husbands…wives…children…daughters..sons…teachers…doctors…ok..WHATEVER. Soooo many kinds of relationships. And the huge variety of relationships is exactly what makes life so interesting. I think all the relationships you ever have in your life are important. It’s a good idea to try your best with any and all of your relationships. Some you try so very hard that you bring it into therapy. Of course you also have to have a working relationship with the therapist. Some are easy. Some are easier then others. Some are just plain difficult. What a great feeling when a relationship works. There is a learning process with some . A good idea would be to have a book of directions with some , you know, maybe even with drawings. Of course the biggest relationship is the one you have with yourself. Oh boy, that one takes quite a long time to figure out. Often we need to go to someone to help us figure it out. Of course we are continue to figure it out throughout our lifetime. Once we get a pretty good grip on our relationship with ourselves, then we have even better relationships with others. I absolutely feel it ‘s best to keep those relationships that make us feel good and …let’s just say, walk away from the one’s that make us feel …not so good.
Relationships teach us so much…about people, about the world, about ourselves. We also learn about sharing and love! What about that big, tough one COMPROMISE!!! I love the one’s that there is a special bond. It is such a comfortable feeling to talk to someone or see someone after not seeing and talking for many years and you start right up like you haven’t missed a day! Sometimes you give…sometimes you take….sometimes it feels uneven..then it changes. When you have a close relationship that you can put your trust in and they can trust you and you feel loved and that can breed intimacy…of course that can bring about fear…which can drive you back to the therapist. I wish I had been better at relating to and with my family. There is no going back. I will have to go forward trying harder at relationships, doing the best I can do.
No matter what. I love relationships. There is room in my heart for all kinds.
Hey, where would we be without them?
![LIFE…I’M MORE THEN HALF WAY THROUGH…BUT I KEEP ON TRUCKIN]()
by egerstein | Aug, 2013 | Blog
So what stage of life am I in.? I am tying to figure it all out. I certainly am aware of getting older. In so many ways I seem to be moving on in life. As an actor I am certainly aware of going up for auditions of a different type. No longer do I go up for certain parts….but now go up for those part’s mother…..and now even going up for how can I say this….GRANDMOHTERS….When did this happen? I wasn’t really aware of this happening. I feel invisible in ways. No longer to men come on to me or flirt with me. Now they just give me a seat. Need I say I DON’T like it!
I don’t have the empty next syndrome.. I never had children. I had dogs instead. They were my children. I got to be very maternal and express wonderful unconditional love. I also received unconditional love from my beloved dogs. I never got married, but did not feel like I had missed out on anything. Most of my girlfriends had never got married either. Many of my friends never had children, so in my circle it was a popular life style. I thought about marriage and that type of life but I believe you marry when you are with someone you WANT to marry. If you don’t meet that person then you are better off staying single. My parents and sister have all passed on. Loosing them was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my life. I miss them terribly. but I have wonderful friends that are my family.
Scale down? Hummmm. I rebuilt my house from the ground up four years ago and love it. It has a wonderful flow, very open with a European feel. It is small, but big enough. They will have to drag me out of it.
When I think about RETIREMENT, I feel like that is a foreign word and has nothing to do with me.. At this time in my life I finally realize..not to worry so much and just do what you want to do. Go forward with projects you have passion for and not to think about what the result will be., just do the very best you can do and ENJOY the process.
I still am an actore…a writer…director…and teach and coach acting. And also do a character on you tube. I love what I do and do it the very best that I can. I still have passion for my projects. I still learn from every venture. I know I will do what I do as long as I can. I will continue to go galloping ahead with excitement in my heart..
by egerstein | Jul, 2013 | Blog
Last November I decided to visit my good friends Annette and her husband Will ….at the very tip of long island…I WAS GOING TO BE IN SAG HARBOR. I wanted to spend some time with Annette since she was an extraordinary writing coach and taught writing at Stonybrook College and NYU. It was a perfect time since she and her husband Will, who was also a writing coach and teacher and by the way, is a Nicholl Award winner, were both on vacation from teaching. I thought I needed a change and I would have a week to be with them and write my outline for my screenplay, (isn’t everybody writing a screenplay)? Annette had told me it is out in the woods and the actual town was about two blocks long. I was picked up from the airport by Will and driven to the house. It was very country and I love country. It was soooo relaxing. Annette’s father and brother had built the house, which was quite adorable. Driving up it was soooo quiet and so beautiful. I began to love the quiet and my heart fell in love with the environment immediately. It was cold, and I love the cold.. I had my own room with a sweet , old iron bed. It was sooo special seeing my old friends and their very special little terrier, BEAN. My days were filled with writing and hiking to the beautiful water and seeing deer in the back yard.
I began to do what I almost never do….RELAX….Wow…what a wonderful feeling. We each had our laptops and Will would sit on one end of the dining room table and write. I would sit on the other end of the table and ….write and Annette would sit across from me so we could work together shaping an outline for my screenplay. Annette and Will kept the fire going . lunchtime Annette would make sandwiched and then back to work continuing to write. 5pm would roll around and it was MARTINI TIME! Annette and I would get ready and Will would make the killer martinis and we “let the good times roll”. We would talk about EVERYTHING. People, old times , the news, animals , LA…NY…and on and on and on. We would get silly…and laugh and laugh and laugh.
Such a wonderful experience of working AND relaxing …enjoying each other’s company 100% and still doing what I had come for …to get an outline for my project. The beauty was astounding. The calmness was so very special.
Hiking in the BRISK cold air…being with friends that WARMED your heart.. The surroundings were so very conducive to enjoying every breathe and every moment and …accomplishing my work. Things seemed so easy because of how this special place made me feel.
I realized how incredibly lucky I was to have this experience…in a way I think that is what heaven is going to feel like.
What a TRANSFORMATION I experienced just learning to enjoy every moment to the fullest and taking in all the beauty… AND…As Bette Midler sang out…OH YOU GOT TO HAVE FRIENDS
I also felt like there had been a wonderful TRANSFORMATION….by letting myself have the time to share myself with incredible friends.
Boy, was I lucky. My heart sang throughout the whole week.
Good friends, good food, good work and a tranquil and beautiful environment can transform you and that transformation can show you how to enjoy your life!
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![OH MY PAPA]()
by egerstein | May, 2013 | Blog
Al Gerstein… that’s is my POPI. What a lucky lady I am to have had him as my father. He was an honest man, a man of integrity. When I was young I remember him as a looker…handsome, with black wavy hair and muscled arms with a tattoo of …mother…on his arm. A very hard worker, who built his business manufacturing mattresses, up from nothing to a huge success.Al was born on the lower east side…New York. He met my mom in the Catskills. Mom was from the Bronx. They moved to Miami and that is where he became ‘THE MATTRESS KING”. He worked six days a week and his greatest joy was providing for his family. My dad was very close with Angelo Dundee who was a boxing trainer. Since my dad didn’t have a son he would take me to the fights with him. It was my private time with my dad. He would introduce me to all the fighters, saying, “I would like you to meet my little girl”. I felt soooo special. He taught me so much that it is the reason I got my first acting job in Raging Bull, as a woman at the fights explaining the fight to another person.
I remember on Monday he would take me with him to jail so he could bail out a few of the men that worked for him. They liked to dress up in dresses and party on the weekends and always got arrested. My dad use to talk to the police explaining that they weren’t hurting anybody, why do you have to put them in jail, and then he would pay and take them to work. I remember the wonderful Xmas parties at the factory. I remember him showing me how to stuff the pillows with feathers and how to make a mattress.
I had horses and showed them and became Florida champion in the 5-gaited division and western pleasure because my dad wanted me to be happy and bought me the horses. He and my mother drove to all the horse shows. I never heard my dad complain.
I remember when I went to college, (a VERY long time ago), at the University of Georgia and my dad was carrying up my trunk to my dorm and he saw a husband and wife carrying up a trunk for their daughter. The wife was struggling and my dad quickly grabbed her end saying, ”Let me take that “. He was quite a gentleman, and so kind.
One of the things I am so very proud of him for is his incredible sense of humanity. His love of all people. His true concern for people. He was so down to earth. I always told him of my concerns and problems and he was so wise helping me deal with what needed to be solved.
When my mother died I brought my dad to live in Los Angeles a few years with me. The move and living conditions was such a huge change and he made it with such eloquence and ease. He had more of a love for life when he moved to LA. He was open to new experiences.
Popi was VERY funny, very quick ….a tremendous sense of humor. My whole family was just naturally funny and I believe that was the backbone of the family.
I MISS MY POPI…I miss his laugh, and us laughing together!!!!
by egerstein | Apr, 2013 | Blog
I have two girls and they are the love of my life. They are really getting old now and I have been remembering them through the years. LULU, (sort of a dashound/ beagelish) is turning 20 now, she can’t see and she sleeps a lot. Her back legs don’t work so well anymore. It is sad to see old age creeping up all over her. I can tell very soon she will be making the heavenly trek over the rainbow to become a most special angel. The sadness has engulfed me. I remember back 20 years ago my wonderful neighbors Marty and Sky went to Greece for a vacation. I received a phone call late one night and Sky told me he found a tiny puppy, about 6 weeks, alone under a bush and if they bring it home would I take the little girl that looks like a big mouse….I answered, ”of course, who wouldn’t want a baby big mouse”/ And so Lulu came into my life! WOW! she was soooo special. My little baby was absolutely perfect. I had a dog door that she could go out to the yard at any time and she never, ever had an accident, and she was soooo loving. Every bit of my maternal instinct came out. I loved my little baby and felt so fortunate that she was mine. Most of my friends are single, never got married or had children. I realized I needed something for me and my maternal instincts to love. This was it. To give love and receive love was incredible. We were inseparable. I carried her around all the time…I think that is why she had short legs. She understood me and I understood her…It was definitely a two way street. I think she was the BEST relationship I ever had. It was just so EASY!
My friend Polly and I did a lot of rescue work for animals, mostly dogs. One day we received a call saying there was a place that fixed cars that had a few dogs and didn’t take care of them. It was animal abuse. They said the dogs looked very sick. Sooooo we (Miss Polly and me) make a visit to see what is what. We have matching blue shirts and hats and a clipboard and we are in my old Isuzu Rodeo. We look very professional! We look like we belong to some department, perhaps the department of animal control, you never know… We see the dogs in horrible condition and know we have to get them out of there. Get them cleaned up and healthy and have them adopted into good homes. So I say I am from perhaps…a certain department and do a smashing improv on how we now have to see the dogs’ licenses and medical records and proof they have all the shots that they are required to have. They have nothing. I tell them we will be back in one week to see the new certificates they will have to get and their food. There were three adult dogs and two puppies
Yes, you guessed it, one week to the minute Miss Polly and I were back and ….had to take the dogs, since they did not have the required paperwork. I had Miss Polly load the dogs up while I spoke with this man, (which is when I do my best acting and improv work, explaining any rules I make up that day). Off we go … with the dogs. My other dog ANNIE, (Australian Shepard/chocolate lab mix) is one of the dogs from that visit/rescue, she is seventeen. Annie’s twin brother and the other adult dog got a beautiful home on 5 acres in Calabasas…now I’m thinking…hey maybe someone should rescue me!!!! Annie was very fragile. Afraid of everything. She followed LULU around and did whatever LULU did. They were instantly sisters….Annie thought they must be identical twins…I had to cover all the mirrors so they didn’t see that they did not look alike at all. … It took 6 months for Annie to adjusted. I love her very much and do positive reinforcement with her constantly.
We have been one happy family “The Girls” and I. Soooo….who thinks John Lennon is right?…Love Is All You Need!
by egerstein | Apr, 2013 | Blog
I was fortunate enough to be able to make an internationally award winning film, WAITING FOR RONALD, that came straight from my heart. I wrote the script which was about a 37 year old developmentally disabled man who finally leaves the institution where he has spent most of his years, takes his suitcase, fear and humor to meet his best friend and start a new life. I have a graduate degree in psychology from Antioch University, so the subject matter was extremely interesting to me. One of my objectives was to show how all peoples are important and how society should be a blended society…everyone fitting in, in their own way. This came about because I had a cousin who felt he didn’t belong in society and had a very unhappy isolated life…very sad…since he had qualities he could share with people, but thought he would not be accepted.
When casting the movie I opened it up to anybody…disabled and non-disabled. It was incredible to see what the public thought what disabled looked like. I hired Jody Clark who was developmentally disabled and at 6’7” was a gentle giant. Casting was a challenge because of what some of the non-disabled actors thought what disabled looked like. Something like a Saturday Night Live skit. Finally I brought in a friend, wonderful actor and he and Jody clicked. I hired Jody to play the lead Ronald. Michael who is not disabled to play the best friend, Edgar. Ronald’s friend at the institution went to Patrick Cooper who is autistic. And another friend in the film went to Blair Underwood who is Down Syndrome. I was lucky enough to have had Bruno Kirby as the counselor. I had a blended cast, which was exactly what I was saying about society. Everyone involved with the project knew it was a very special experience. The cast was very close and we all learned from each other.
I was afraid because this was the first film I was going to direct. Jody and Patrick had never acted before and Michel Luckerman had never played a disabled character before.
So the playing field was leveled and all was good. Rehearsals were quite wonderful. The shoot went incredibly well. So much love and support on the shoot. The film won many AWARDS, but the real REWARD was being able to show the film at different institutions and centers and schools for disabled. The response was incredible. I would take Jody with me and show the film. After the film I would open up for any questions and discussions. The audience consisted of the population that lived there or went to school there. There were the counselors and the parents. The people would come forward with thoughts and feelings that some had never expressed before.
I would take copies of a few scenes and had some of the people come forward and read the scene together…having them do something that they might not thought they could do and showing them yes they can. We would work the scenes and talk about how that effected them, what it made them think of and that would bring on more discussion. The discussions were personal and emotional. The sharing and the confidence building was a true joy to behold.
Many parents and also counselors came up and let me know that they had not heard their child’s intimate thoughts, dreams and feelings before. Everyone was very touched by the experience. It was so rewarding for every one that I took that seminar to as many places as I could. Everyone who saw the film had an experience that enlightened them and touched their heart….What a win!
